I know for certain that trusting in the process instead of trying to control the outcome is frightening.
And I know that ego and fear makes it so.
I know that deep breaths and relaxing into my body keeps me here on earth and not floating into
the dark, black skies of my monkey mind.
I know for certain that creative people sometimes get really quiet.
I know it looks like they're doing nothing.
Like, they are unproductive.
But I know that isn't true.
Inside my brain is a kaleidoscope of furious, colourful thought about how to
be better, make better, love better.
I know that sometimes productivity needs to be the focus
and, sometimes, quiet thought is where productivity is born.
I know that my quietness scares some people.
I know that's ok.
Because I know that sometimes I just need time alone.
Everybody needs some time alone.
I know that walking and swimming and gulping in the elixir that is Vancouver Island air
brings my anger, sadness, judgement, fear, loneliness,
into perspective.
It calms my heart. It fuels my breath. It relaxes my monkey.
I know that stuffing and gravy and potatoes aren't certainly healthful, but they are soulfully comforting.
I know that so is chocolate, and I know that it's incredibly hard to give up dairy.
I know I can do hard things, like let my children go and grow into their own souls and
cut the cords from difficult people and
check into my own bullshit and be accountable for it,
without blaming others.
I know I can do that.
I know for certain that alcohol doesn't mix well in my blood,
even though it has brought me a lot of fun times.
I know that coffee is so damn good,
but caffeine, in the end of it all, is better left alone. (or maybe just for once-in-awhile's)
I know that babies are miracle workers sent to earth from the greatest source of Love there ever was. And I know that trusting in the way things are is the greatest lesson.
I know for certain that I miss the people who were once here and
are now not here in this body incarnate.
But I know that when I need them
I know they are just right there, over my shoulder.
(probably having a glass of wine, or a mug of cold brew)
I know if I walk, eat chocolate, stay in my body and breathe,
if I walk, and think think think, be quiet, talk to my Angels, hug my children and
look deep into their souls,
I know then that my faith is strengthened.
I know for certainly certain and for certainly sure that creativity is my blood and bones
and I cannot live without it.
I know those who try to take it from me will float away.
I know for sure that I am still learning and that getting older is awesome.
I know the Western world may not think an older woman is desirable, but I know I never want to be that kind of desire for anybody.
I want to desire myself.
My truth.
Who I AM, without the mask, without the lie, without any apology for being who I AM.
I know that age brings me the wisdom of my truth, gifts me the grace of my heart and honours me with the glory of my being.
I know that I want all the humans to know for certain that they are loved! and they have nothing to prove, only light to give.
I know that right now at this moment I know myself better than I ever have;
I love myself better than I ever have;
I care for my heart better than I ever have and I know--I know for certain--that this feeling,
this knowing, this love and care--it is so so beautiful.
I know that this knowing will change and sometimes I will be confused.
I know that's ok.
I know sad songs sometimes make me feel so comfortable.
I know that loving people in spite of their flaws is everyone's job.
I know that this is the truth and this is the reason we are here.
I know we are supposed to heal our own hearts so we can heal other's.
I know that love is more powerful than hate.
I know it's hard to keep an open heart.
I know it's hard sometimes, to love, and I know it's easier sometimes to hate.
I know that fear is the reason why.
I know all that I know and I know that I don't know and I know that that is ok.
XO Dalyce/14
No comments:
Post a Comment