Ten.

You. From the moment your fluttering heart began beating inside my body, you captivated me--heart and soul--entirely.

It's been TEN years with you and Its has been a really wonderful journey to watch you become the human you are, and see the space you are carving out in this world. 

I love everything about you. Everything. I love the way you say "I love you" repeatedly when anyone you love has to leave. I love the way you tease the dog because that's the way you two roll. I love the way you create entire worlds from your imagination on paper, or from cardboard or in The garden with stones and leaves. I love the way you fought with me as a two year old each time I tried to buckle you into your car seat because you despised being confined. I love everything. Everything about you--the easy stuff and the hard stuff-- it's all you. 

You're a lover. The care you have for others runs deep to your core. I love that about you.  You're a fighter. You will not be told to sit or stay if that is not what you feel like doing. You won't be held down. I love that about you. 

Ten years is a decent amount of time to be on Earth. You've learned so much and you've grown up so fast. I want to bottle you up right now so that this moment can somehow last forever because right now you are on a cusp of moving into a new story of who you are and yet you are still living the story of a young sweet innocent girl who loves life. 

I want you to know my darling that you have made me a better person. You've taught me many lessons in mothering that I didn't know I needed to learn. You've taught me patience and you've taught me about stamina. You've shown me that family is the most important thing in the world and that sticking it out is worth everything. 

I want you to know that I admire you for your tenacity, humour and courage.

You're not afraid to speak out. You're not afraid to wear mismatched socks or sing in front of others or be kind to those people that get left behind. I admire these things and so much more. 

Everything about You is wonderful and valuable and this world sparkles with more hope and love because of you. 

Thank you sweet one for being here, for being our girl, and for being You. 

Xo- mama. 

Challenge to expand.

On December 31, 2013 I decided that I would give myself the challenge to phase alcohol consumption out of my life. I knew I had to set the challenge for at least one year to make it worthwhile. And I had to do it on my own. I didn't ask my husband to join me ( although he did 6 months later) because I wanted the journey to be mine. 

My relationship to alcohol isn't dependent. There isn't any severe destruction tendencies. There was just a sense that alcohol held me back in life. It felt like a crutch that society allows us to use to numb out and stay small. It felt like poison even in small amounts. 

Over the year I travelled through several mental hardships that normally would have been temporarily bandaged by alcohol. Without alcohol I had to face everything life threw at me with a clear mind and an open heart. 

It was beautiful. And continues to be amazing. Fifteen months later I am still alcohol free and my spiritual life has expanded so wonderfully that I am more fulfilled than I ever was with alcohol. 

This challenge taught me many things and one of the very important things it gave me was the knowing that when I set myself a challenge with clear motives and clear parameters, I tend to open up and do very well at accomplishing my goal. I seem to override the ego mind and access my higher self where all possibilities are at my finger tips. 

As of today I am beginning a new journey into challenging myself. Over the next few months, I am going to create & complete 100 pieces of tiny art. 

Now this may seem frivolous compared to quitting alcohol but in many ways it is just as worthy to the expansion of my soul and opening of my heart. 

I tend to hide. I tend to want to hold my art close to me-- maybe to keep me safe from criticism; safe from being seen. And this keeps me closed. This keeps my ego in charge and lets fear hold the reins. 

Because I'm setting a challenge to complete this many pieces I know I will see it through. My tendecy to complete a goal and prove my stamina is usually quite strong and so far I've been nothing but excited about creating new work. 

The challenge was created by artist and blogger Kellee Conrad who set up a private Facebook group to create community around it. I will be sharing there as well as on my own FB page and on my blog. 

There are some rules to the challenge such as keep the pieces small, uniform in size and create a theme using the same basic subject matter and materials for each piece. I'm not very good at following rules when it comes to creativity because I feel they inhibit me but I am going to make the pieces small and I will likely be using primarily acrylic paint as my medium. I may only work on art board or card board but that could change. I plan to do several mini series on a particular subject but I won't do every piece around one subject only. I plan to sell the pieces for affordable prices. I plan to exhibit them as well. 

I'm super pumped for this challenge  because I feel it is going to help me break out of my protective zone if only because I will have so many pieces of art that I will have no choice but to send them out into the world to bring joy to others. 

After all that is my truest reason to make art. To create joy, spread joy and become joy. Stay tuned for the first tiny art piece to show up later today.